another moral hangover. fuck.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
