What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
