Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
