what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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