Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
