his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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