I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
