its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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