I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
