if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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