its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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