I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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