Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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