I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
