his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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