Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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