I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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