it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
