I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
