i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
