I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
