The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He felt like a one man threesome
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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