she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
