i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
