I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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