I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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