why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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