I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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