He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
only if we run a train.
done.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
