return my video game
I showed him my bush... on skype.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
