Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
