We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
cat food counts as protein by the way
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
