She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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