now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
