Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
