my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
