Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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