i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
