i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
