so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
