sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
