Where is the hickey?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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