Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
