just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
