It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
