Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
