I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
