At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
