she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
