let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He? As in you personified your dick?
did i just pee glitter
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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