Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
soo... how was my night?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
