Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
