I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
