At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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