Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
