you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
