He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize