How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
