I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Randomize
