4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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