The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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