Duck Duck Cougar?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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