Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
