He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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